I’m thinking about how thankful I am for my husband today. I know I’ve written a lot about him on this blog, but I wonder sometimes if those words get written off as just some “things I’m supposed to say”. You may not know what life has looked like for us the past couple years – and I try not to air the nitty gritty of our struggles on here – but reality has been pretty harsh. Especially for my husband. He’s been ridiculed, lied to and lied about repeatedly. He has been characterized as lacking self-control…dangerous, even. The plethora of evidence of his good character has been ignored or marginalized, and left some, possibly many, people who never really took time to know him assuming horrible things about him. And I realize these words of mine may never be read by any of those people, but I feel like I should write them just the same.
First, though, I should note…I am not a flatterer, even to my husband. I don’t say things I don’t mean, and I don’t commend people who haven’t evoked a strong conviction in my heart that they are worthy of commendation. I’m stingy, I guess. But please know, if ever my husband’s character is misrepresented by my words, it would only be such that I have failed to offer adequate praise for the amazing husband, father, and man of God that he is.
I want to make abundantly clear that while he can be verbally persistent beyond the comfort level of many people, he has never lost control of himself, publicly or privately. He will always walk away from an interaction before he allows himself to be overcome in word or deed. He has never in his entire life physically lashed out in any way at another person. Ever. I can’t even say that about myself. I think most people can’t say that about themselves. He is a man of very strong convictions…I think if you know anything about him, you know this. And one of his very strong convictions is that he will not use physical force against anyone, unless it is necessary to save a person’s life. I have known him long enough, and seen him in enough provoking situations, to be fully convinced that this is true. There never has been, nor ever will be, anyone in physical danger from my husband.
He is also an absolutely phenomenal husband. Committed, patient, kind, compassionate, affectionate, servant-hearted, encouraging…and the list could go on. He takes the biblical call to lay down his life for me very seriously and he does it every.single.day. I wish I could explain how really and truly flawed I am as a wife and mom and homemaker. No, my husband has never said or implied anything of the sort, and I’m not just being humble. It’s reality. But my insufficiencies help me see so clearly, in nearly every moment of my life, how blessed I am by my husband. I honestly can’t imagine any person ever loving me more or better than he does. I’ve said this all before, I know. But I repeat it because it is true.
My husband is a godly man. I think some might have a tendency to look at his less-than-emotional exterior and assume there’s nothing going on inside. But that is so far from the truth. On the outside, and in his “rhetoric”, he doesn’t fit the accepted image of a strong Christian…he doesn’t cry or jump or dance, he doesn’t use theologically heavy words…but the way he lives his life is always founded in the Word of God. He believes the Bible to be true and he doesn’t let anyone or anything usurp it’s rightful place as the highest authority in his life. He acts on what he knows to be true and right, even if he doesn’t feel like it. He has little regard for whether he has garnered the good opinion of others, but cares greatly to do that which pleases God.
My husband is human. Obviously, right? But being human means there are trials. And there’s hurt. And there’s wrestling, especially when life gets hard. He sometimes pulls back. He sometimes doesn’t have the right words to say. He sometimes has a hard time trusting others. He can get overwhelmed, and he can lose confidence, and he can feel like he’s all alone. And, sometimes, my heart breaks for him because it seems like nobody ever wants to take the time to know him…and it does take time…but people will believe a lie about him without a second thought. Nonetheless, through it all, he is steadfast in his love for me, in his love and care for our family, in his faithfulness to the Word.
He is the best person I have ever known, without caveat or exception. I just hope, somehow, I can be there when God tells him well done, good and faithful servant.