Our days are looking very disjointed these days, but here is some of the randomness…

…on and off schoolwork.  I think we’ve been accomplishing what amounts to about 2 days of school each week for the past month and a half.  It’s not what I had hoped for, but it’s adding up enough to give me a little buffer when the baby comes.

…Elijah deciding in the past 2 days that he wants to start using the potty.  Not the best timing, but we’ll see how it goes.

…random housework on my part and attempts to get children to do the more “normal” things like vacuuming and dusting.  Not the most effective combination, but it’s the best I can manage with little sleep, a huge belly, and persistent nausea.

…piles of cucumbers accumulating, making the necessity of pickle-making loom ever larger on my list of to-do’s.

…attempts to have special moments with each of my kids.  As always at the end of pregnancy, I feel a twinge of guilt at how much of my time a new baby will take away from the older kids, and it makes me sad.

…hunting flies.  We’ve gotten a lot of them in our house lately (could have something to do with the less-than-airtight quality the back of our house currently possesses) and they are really annoying.  Thankfully, successfully killing flies seems to offer a great sense of accomplishment for my kiddos.

…watching cooking shows.  Just because.

…waiting.  As much as I know I shouldn’t be impatient yet, I am.  I lack motivation for most things that should probably get done, and I just want to be past the unpleasantness and “unknown” of labor, with a baby to care for and the opportunity to figure out how life will work with 7 of us.

Today, Nathanael turns 5.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how easy he was as a baby and toddler.  From the time he was a newborn, while he didn’t sleep for great stretches at night, he was easily consoled.  I remember him waking up 2 or 3 times a night (sometimes more), but after nursing for 10 minutes or so, he would be right back to sleep.  No hours of trying to get him back to sleep, no fussing for no apparent reason.   When he got a little older, he would entertain himself with rolling matchbox cars across the floor, sometimes for an hour or longer.  He was often content to just sit on a lap and snuggle (hence the nickname of Snuggle-bug, which has since been shortened to just Bug).

And he is still a very affectionate and pensive little boy…he sits close and expects an arm around him, he takes his time giving answers and making choices.  He still is often content entertaining himself, although he does also really like someone else nearby.

As he gets older, though, more aspects of his personality come through, too.  He loves being outside.  He empties our compost bucket in the morning, and routinely investigates every garden thoroughly before heading inside.  He’s not afraid of getting dirty, or catching bugs, or getting a few scrapes here and there.

He is excited about school and learning.  He doesn’t have as much of the scientific bent that his older brother and sister have, but he does have a great memory for detail and a way of learning that, while different from his siblings, seems to work for him.

He loves colors, and has from the time he was little.  When he sees something really colorful, he often remarks with something along the lines of “wow, that’s so beautiful”…it’s very sweet.

He is also generous.  For a five year old, he tends to be very good at considering others’ feelings, and willing to sacrifice what he most prefers to make someone else happy.  Sure, he has his moments of not seeing beyond himself, but I am often impressed by how thoughtful he is.

I am so thankful for this sensitive, loving, helpful little boy.  He is such a gift to our family and I feel especially protective of his soft heart, that is at the same time a wonderfully strong and yet vulnerable, needing-to-be-handled-gently part of his character.  I so look forward to watching him discover the love of the One who gave him such a valuable gift, and then share that love with others out of the compassion and servant’s heart he has been given.

Happy 5th Birthday, Bug!  You are precious and so loved.

I woke up at 5:00 this morning, and I lay in bed, trying to get past the nausea and discomfort so that I could sleep some more.  An hour later, I took a shower, then went back to bed to try again.  When I lay down, Tim, half awake, reached over and rubbed my back – knowing I wasn’t feeling good, knowing I needed sleep, knowing backrubs help.  I fell asleep, he got up.

He had a plan for today.  He wanted an early-ish start.

But, instead of starting on his plans, he started getting kids ready for the day.  He did the dishes (that were piled high because I had felt pretty terrible yesterday, too).  He assisted Caedmon in making pancakes for breakfast.  He let me sleep for 2 more hours.  When I got up, he offered to cook eggs for me, knowing that pancakes don’t sit well when my stomach is upset.  He washed the breakfast dishes for me and got kids started on their morning chores.   Eventually, hours later than he had hoped, he started on his plans.

He put me first.  He always does.

He is a continual example to me of sacrificial love.  When I think God has forgotten me, I am reminded, through my husband, of how undeservedly blessed I am.  I told Tim once that he wasn’t the man of my dreams…he was better than I could have ever dreamed.  It’s true.  And I am so thankful for him.

Yesterday, motivated by a string of rather unproductive days (weeks? months?), we decided a change of scenery was in order, so we decided to spend the afternoon at the Wild Center in Tupper Lake.  The kiddos were thrilled to see fish, turtles, otters, ducks and various other things that I wouldn’t have necessarily thought would captivate them.  We walked the trails and I was thankful for being able to be outside, in the shade of sweet-smelling pine trees, and get a small bit of exercise that didn’t involve gardening or going for a walk around the block (that can be nice, but gets boring kind of quick).  I was thankful for a loose agenda and time with my family that didn’t require any other doing.  And you know what?  Later, when children were in bed – even though I had been awake since early and had probably exhausted myself, physically, more than I had in a while – I had motivation to be productive.  Granted, I hadn’t left myself much of the day to accomplish things, but nevertheless, a changing table got repaired, cleaned and organized, a car seat got taken out of storage, disassembled and cleaned, and a cradle got pulled out and cleaned, too.

Today, though there hasn’t been a fast pace by any means, things have been steadily getting done.  Tim is working on gutting the back section of our upstairs, and I have canned some sweet pickles, made refrigerator summer squash pickles, and baked a double batch of banana bread.  Hopefully, at the end of the day today, we will not feel quite as overwhelmed as usual on a Saturday night.  I really don’t often mind when projects take a long time, or when to-do lists are really long…I just like to see progress.  So, despite the fact that there is no “end” in sight to the work that needs doing on and around our house, today it is enough that something has been accomplished.

today…

…up at 6:30 (early for me), not because I was well rested, but because my body ached too much for me to go back to sleep.

…everyone bathed/showered and dressed by 8am.

…breakfast done being eaten by 9am (for us, this is almost unheard of).

…an hour and a half pruning tomato plants.  Probably not the best idea on little sleep and in muggy weather for this 8-months-pregnant lady.

…an episode of vomiting before lunch (most likely caused by the gardening exertion).

…lunch, and an episode of Master Chef.  I’m glad my kids seem to be on board with my love of cooking shows.

…some dishes washed.

…piles of laundry needing to be folded.

…a lower back that feels like it is going to go into spasms.

…trying to figure out dinner.  I have to use some of my squash.  Ugh.

…a very active baby, which is endearing in many ways, but does not help an unsettled tummy.

…a four year old who faithfully reports to me on the condition of our garden every morning after he empties our compost bucket, a 6 year old who is starting to love reading, a 2 year old who can melt my heart in spite of his recent defiant streak, an 8 year old who is willing to try just about any task I assign him (but who is especially eager if it involves food), a husband who loves me.