Thankfulness hasn’t been welling up in my heart lately, so today I am trying to make a point of noting some good things – little things, some of them – that make me smile, or relieve stress, or remind me that life can be fun.  Here’s what I’ve come up with.

:: it’s Friday.  Tim works only a half day on Fridays and kids’ schoolwork is a bit more relaxed.

:: a dishwasher.

:: a rearranged living room that is more open and functional and peaceful.

:: a little toddler girl who chases after Tim and me, with arms stretched wide, yelling “‘ug! ‘ug!” (hug).  So, so endearing.

:: a pair of hand-me-down paintings, a cleaned-up milk can found in our garage which is perfect for holding pussy willow branches (which, incidentally, have long since been cleared of their white puffy blossoms (?) thanks to little hands), and an old wooden crate that was left in our attic that works wonderfully as a tv stand…all gracing our still-almost-finished-but-functional family room.  Thriftiness and decorating are both kind of foreign arenas for me, but I’m trying…and finding these things makes me smile.

:: finally finding a pair of maternity pants that fit.  I’m not quite sure why clothing manufacturers think pregnant ladies want to walk around in 5-inch heels just so their pants won’t drag on the ground (maybe most do????) but I don’t.  I’m glad I now have something to wear other than yoga pants.

:: a busy, fun week planned for next week – Caedmon’s 10th (!) birthday Wednesday, a quick trip to an indoor waterpark on Thursday, with some hanging out and shopping followed by a midwife appointment the next day, and the first Upward games of the season on Saturday.

:: a second trimester that has been much kinder to me than usual.  Aside from about a week of my body reverting to first trimester symptoms (following our bout with the cold/flu), I have had only very occasional nausea, and little else for pregnancy-related inconveniences.

:: longer daylight hours.  Even when it is frigid outside, the extra light makes me feel warmer and (obviously?) brightens my day.

:: a new routine.  Or, I should probably say, a routine, since we really haven’t had any to speak of.  And it’s far from rigid or perfect, but it’s better.  I’ll take better.

:: so many things around the house that have, primarily, become the responsibility of my kids.  Though most tasks  are still in need of some improvement, their help makes life doable.

:: adding in a little individual playtime with each child when they get their individual prayer time (one night a week).  It’s been fun.  So far, we’ve mostly played checkers.  Tim is undefeated, I am not.  Our six-year old seems to have inherited Tim’s strategizing abilities, and I am happy to say that it didn’t bother me a bit when he beat me…twice.  I think I’ve finally accepted that I am terrible at games.

Tim isn’t one to say “God told me…” very often.  In fact, it’s only happened once that I know of.  Before we were married, before I was even willing to consider the possibility of marrying him, was the one time that he felt sure God spoke to him.  And what was it God said?  He told Tim to take care of me.

I don’t think he told me about it at the time, or if he did, I probably scoffed a little.  I’m sure I didn’t think I needed to be taken care of.  I’m sure I thought that the wife was supposed to take care of the husband.  I’m sure I was clueless.  Tim, though?  He took it as a mandate on his life and has been faithfully walking it out for more than thirteen years.  I am regularly stunned by my own inability to make life work…in big ways and little ways, I am continually confronted with my insufficiency.  And almost as often as I recognize my failings, I see in my husband strength and persistence and grace poured out to me in measure that I can’t quite fathom, and of which I am completely undeserving.

This past week we were all sick, with fevers and congestion and body aches and coughing.  Tim was just as sick as I was for a couple of the days.  But, while he insisted that I not do anything (and while I could not imagine having enough fortitude to even stand, much less be productive in any way) he took care of us, sickness and all.  And when our hot water heater stopped working, he figured out the problem and set about getting the necessary replacement part and fixed it, sickness and all.  And when our furnace stopped working, too (!), he again figured out the problem and set about getting the necessary replacement part and fixed it, sickness and all.  True, by the time the furnace issue came up, he wasn’t quite as sick as at first, but still.  Still.

These are the times when I see even more clearly just how much I need to be taken care of, and just how far Tim will push himself to make sure that I am taken care of.  I was telling him, one of the nights this past week, how I can’t imagine doing everything he was doing while feeling so terrible.  His reply was simply, “God told me to take care of you”.  And when he reminds me now, scoffing is the furthest thing from my mind.  I’m just thankful…so, so, so thankful…that God knew what I needed, and that Tim listened and continues to live it.

I’m having trouble finding good things to think about the past few days.  But there is this:

I got a new dishwasher for Christmas.

Tim spent most of a Saturday running water pipes and drain pipes and new wiring in order to install it in what will, likely, be only its temporary home.  I have been without a dishwasher for two years.  Kids have been learning to wash dishes, but really, there are just so many when all of us eat every meal at home.  So, even though Tim’s ideal is that we could figure out a way to do without a dishwasher, he knew that it would make my life easier to have one.  And it has.  I have almost cried from relief at not seeing piles of dishes at the end of the day .  Maybe it seems like a small thing, but it is huge to me.  I am thankful.