Ten years with Caedmon have been…

…filled with questions.  Non-stop questions.  Hard questions.  Silly questions.  Questions asked over and over and over again.  Questions from him and questions about him and questions of God to help us please not mess this up, and to have mercy when we do mess up.

…joyful.  He loves to laugh.  He loves to make others laugh.

…seeing him learn, and being often amazed at how easily he does so.  He knew his alphabet by 18 months, could count to 20 by the age of two, and was reading words like “pharmacy” at four.  He still learns with minimal effort, and though I sometimes worry we’re not doing enough to help him “reach his potential”, for the time being, I am satisfied allowing him to direct his brainpower to age-appropriate endeavors of Legos, Hardy Boys, and snow forts.

…being blessed by his love of cooking.  He has currently claimed three mornings a week for breakfast making…oatmeal on Wednesday, fried eggs on Friday, and pancakes on Saturday.  I can’t say that I am at all put out by not being needed in the kitchen at those times.

…reminding myself that he’s still a kid.  This has been happening for years.  His quick understanding of many things often leaves me with the faulty impression that he can understand most things.  There is a constant adjustment that happens in my mind trying to reconcile his age with what he should be able to grasp.  More and more, though, he is getting the tough concepts, and our conversations can go deeper.

…seeing the Lord draw him, and watching him respond.  He was water baptized this past summer, and words can’t describe the joy and thankfulness I felt hearing him make his first public declaration of his faith in Jesus.

…becoming increasingly aware of the fact that his life has a direction and purpose that will take him away from home, away from me, and I need to figure out how to be okay with that, and even more so, how to prepare him for that eventuality.  I can imagine it being one of the hardest things I will ever have to do, but it really shouldn’t be about me at all.

…so rich, so full, so challenging, so good for me.  Caedmon was my first baby, my first toddler, my first student, my first little helper, my first boy, and now my first young man.  I love him so very much.