Metaphor

This is our fourth year doing Upward basketball.  Today is the first game I have missed.  Elijah isn’t feeling well, so we’re home.  It’s probably just as well, since I was sick yesterday and am still weak and dizzy, and the idea of sitting on hard bleachers for three hours while supervising too-energetic children is likely not a great one.

It’s snowing outside, again, and for the first time this winter, I just can’t appreciate the beauty of it.  I just want it done.  I want the cold and ugly, wet mess gone.  I want sunshine and flowers and warm breezes and green grass.  I want to be able to take walks and turn off the furnace and open windows.  I want to forget winter.  But I look out my window and there it is – still.

It’s getting hard to hold out hope for a new season.  I mean, obviously, it will be warmer some day.  I just wonder where grace is for today.  I wonder why this unwanted snow keeps falling.  I wonder what it is about a new, better season that has God saying not yet.  I’m not finding any lessons here.  This has been a hard, hard winter.  Sickness, and discouragement, and things breaking, and lots of moments of thinking things can’t get any worse, then realizing that, sometimes, things not getting any better can be even harder still.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the rest of this winter.

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