God’s love is a pursuing love.  Relentless, really.  It is constant regardless of how I (or others) respond.  It is not deterred by rejection or lessened by the ugliness of sin.  And I expect that.  I expect that when I try to hide or run away, God will be pursuing me…that He will woo me back to Himself, that He will reaffirm His love for me and do so with convincing gentleness and grace.  Sometimes, if I’m honest, I am quick to run away because a part of me is selfishly wanting the reassurance that comes with Him pursuing me.  Childish, I know, but even in those moments, He pursues nonetheless.

My husband’s love is a pursuing love, too.  I know that he loves me enough to chase after my heart if we’ve had a disagreement, or if I am pushing away, or distrusting his love.  My husband doesn’t stop pursuing me when he sees the worst in me.  And sometimes, if I’m doubting his love, I will pull away, just to make sure he’s still pursuing.  Again, I know it’s childish, but he pursues me nonetheless.

Clearly, I have an expectation of being pursued in love.  It actually does carry over to just about every personal relationship I have.  If I’m not being pursued, then I conclude that I’m not loved.  And you know what?  I don’t think that’s very far from true…but, I think that application of it is misplaced.  Because the reality is that, as much as I expect to be pursued, I do very little pursuing.  If other people are like me, then it’s likely that few people would trust my love for them.  Yes, I pursue my husband and my kids.  And though their trusting of my love is more important to me than other people trusting my love, I don’t think that’s why I pursue them.

I think I pursue them because I trust that they won’t reject me. I’m already confident of their love, so there’s no risk in the pursuit.  In some ways, I think this is natural.  We love God because He first loved us and gave Himself up for us.  Something inside of me was made to seek that assurance in love.

But, here’s the thing…I have that assurance already.  God loves me with the only perfect love I will ever know, and as tempting as it is to have the same expectations of others as I have of God, that’s not, I think, how it’s supposed to work.  Instead, I am supposed to love others the way that God loves me.  I am supposed to pursue, despite the possibility of rejection, despite the likelihood that, at some point, those I love will prove themselves not very lovable (that’s kind of part of the human condition, right?).  I’m supposed to love sacrificially.

Honestly, that scares me.  I’m nothing if not overprotective of my heart…to the extent of thinking I can guard it better than the Lord can.  I don’t like rejection, hurt, and discomfort.  So, I can’t say that I’m going to walk away from this blog and automatically know how to be pursuing in my love.  But, I need to try.  I guess recognizing that is a start.