I am prone to thinking I have to get everything perfect – the decorations, the gifts, the food, the Advent devotionals.

I, subconsciously, think it’s my job to not disappoint anyone.

And it’s not just Christmas

And it’s not just the pressure of perfection.

It’s all the things that I think are needed before I can let go and breathe again…

…provision, healing, willpower, answers.

It’s all the things I think God would, or should, show up in if my faith were stronger, or if He really loved me, or if I finally learned whatever lesson it is He’s trying to teach me.

And I often think God must be frustrated with me because I still haven’t figured out the formula for being the perfect Christian.

But, I’m realizing that, while He might be frustrated with me, it wouldn’t be because I’m not perfect.

Because He isn’t looking for perfection.

And He doesn’t want me to be striving for perfection, or anything else.

He, in fact, knows how dissatisfying that pursuit – or any pursuit – will be for me.

He knows that even if every prayer got answered – if I became the person I think I should be – that it would never be enough.

Every gift under the tree is a sincere, but flawed, attempt to imitate the Giver, and the only perfect Gift ever given.

Every desire and pursuit, except for Jesus, is a broken cistern, destined to disappoint.

Because Jesus is the only fountain of living water, the only One who can satisfy.

And He is the only well that will never run dry.

                                         “My people have committed two sins:
                                          They have forsaken me,
                                          the spring of living water,
                                          and have dug their own cisterns,
                                          broken cisterns that cannot hold water.“

                                                                      —Jeremiah 2:13