When you see me, what do you see?  Someone who unhappy?  Someone who is shy?  Someone who is disinterested…intimidating…stuck-up…scared…misguided…out-of-touch…boring…put-together…pre-occupied…etc, etc, etc?  I honestly don’t know.  But you’re probably not seeing me.  Not that I am not any of those things, but when you see me, I am most likely trying to be someone I’m not.

Because I’ve been told that who I am is not who God wants me to be. 

Because nobody ever seems to want to know me as I really am. 

Because I am convinced that you don’t really want to know that I love you and would go to great lengths to demonstrate that to you, because you don’t really love me…and besides, it’s weird even for Christians to show sacrificial love to someone they don’t really know. 

Because I don’t want to sound stupid. 

Because I like talking about the Bible and theology, not housework and fashion and “weather”. 

Because I hate to lie, but I don’t want to ruin your day with my burdens. 

Because I don’t share my joys with you since I think you would rather not take the time to hear about them. 

Because the last time I tried talking to you, you left the conversation in in mid-sentence because someone you preferred to talk to walked into the room, so next time, I will show you less of me. 

Because I don’t want you to see just how horribly imperfect I am out of fear that you would pity me, or think I’m not really trying to live for Jesus. 

Because you don’t want me to see who you really are.

Because you seem most “blessed” by me when I stay out of the way.

Because I am intimidated by your “perfection”.

Because I am uncomfortable in groups of people.

Because I don’t want to inadvertently offend you.

But, I want to just be me.  Maybe someday.