So, Isabelle’s 5th birthday came and went, along with all the usual celebratory trappings, but I forgot to note it in a blog post.  Life is always busy in May, and especially so this year, it seems, but it matters to me that I take time to write about each of my kids on their birthdays.

With Isabelle in particular, and this year in particular, it matters even more.  Because this year has been tough on my Sweetpea, I think. She is in that unenviable position of not being in school yet, but not really needing my attentions to manage most of her day-to-day existence.  So, while the older kids have a built-in amount of attention in the form of teaching and directing in chores and answering school-related questions, and while Lucas is in that mode of needing constant oversight if I hope for the very structure of our home to make it through a day, Isabelle has, unfortunately, been left to fend for herself too much of the time.

On top of that, she was really hit hard by her Grandma passing away this year.  Even though her comprehension of it all was, I’m sure, a little fuzzy, she lost someone who lavished her with attention, who was always willing to answer a question, or let her water flowers and fill bird feeders, or be a glad recipient of Isabelle’s forceful hugs.  A void was definitely left in my little girl’s heart by this loss.

Nonetheless, Isabelle has paved a way for herself in so many things.  She persistently asks questions, and will volunteer to do ANYTHING, even things she just can’t quite do yet.  She has learned her letters and numbers and counting to a hundred and spelling her name, and so many random facts about things simply by being inquisitive, and without any prompting from me.

She absolutely loves singing and dancing and just performed in her very first dance recital.  She daily requests an audience for her latest Isabelle-original song or dance, which she always performs with great expressiveness and energy.

Isabelle is amazingly articulate.  She has an impressive vocabulary and is an exceptionally clear communicator for a five-year-old, although she occasionally struggles with shyness in unfamiliar situations, at which point she will staunchly refuse to utter a single word.

She is a born nurturer.  Whenever someone isn’t feeling good, she is quick to take care of them, and sticks with them throughout the day to attend to every need (which she does quite well).

Her natural personality is best characterized as exuberant.  She hops her way through life, bounces into hugs, gives the biggest, cheesiest grins anytime a camera is pointed her way, laughs loud (and screams loud).  She does everything with flair.  She LOVES playing dress-up and pretend. She is intelligent and determined and silly and strong and loving.

I am so thankful for her and I love her beyond words.

Last week, Lucas had his second birthday.  Two years has flown by, and now my baby isn’t so much of a baby any more.  He is in full-fledged I want to do what my older siblings are doing mode, from chores, to schoolwork, to playing games and building with Legos.

In many ways, Lucas has broken the mold of my expectations these past two years.  From his first year with constant spit-up, late teeth, persistent finger sucking, and uncanny physical strength and coordination, to this past year with his ability to defy any childproofing attempts, his tenacity against which I am woefully mismatched, and his acute intelligence which is only mildly veiled by his as-yet limited speaking vocabulary, my ability to predict his forthcoming strengths and challenges has proven to be lacking.

On one hand, he is intense and demanding and dissatisfied with anything that doesn’t completely meet his “requests”, but on the other hand, he has a compassion and gentleness towards someone who is hurting that was not evident in his older siblings.  He rarely says any intelligible words apart from Mommy, Daddy, and a few other staples, but will occasionally blurt out an entire sentence as clear as day.  He loves bath-time when the water is running, but hates it any other time.

Yet, still, there are the normal 2-year-old boy things, too. He loves cars and trucks…well, anything with wheels, really.  He runs and climbs and jumps and bangs his head on all kinds of things.  He has started loving books – his current favorites being Peek-A-Who, A Good Day, Froggy Goes to Bed, I Love it When You Smile, and God Bless You and Goodnight.  He will usually willingly go to bed at night, but insists on being picked up any time he wakes up (I have lost my will to stand my ground at 3am…for now, at least).  He loves going outside at recess time, and even knows to go grab socks from his drawer and bring them to me with his shoes.  He loves french fries, and bananas, and pretzels, and macaroni and cheese, and corn, and cookies…but there are many more things that he won’t eat without a fight.  He is silly and funny and loves to be the center of attention.  He needs to work on obedience, but has at least learned to obey stop! (the most important first step, in my opinion).

Lucas sometimes makes me feel like I’m in over my head, but his presence in our lives is immeasurably valuable.  His biggest of big smiles, the way he sort of gallops away when he’s excited, and the out-of-the-blue hugs and kisses are some of my very favorite parts of any day.  I have loved being Lucas’s mom these past two years, and I am so excited to watch him grow, and to know him more and better in the years to come.  He is loved beyond words.

Today, Bethany is 13 years old.  So here, 13 things about our Bethany Kaitlyn:

1 – She is strong-willed.  Though always a defining characteristic, she has learned to (mostly) use it well, and yield when necessary.

2 – She is great at math.  She doesn’t always get the best grades (though she has improved her attention to detail by leaps and bounds this year), but she very rarely struggles with understanding.

3 – She loves animals.  I’ve tried to explain the lack of logic in such a strong affection, but she persists in it nonetheless.  It is possible that I’m just a bit less compassionate than she is.

4 – When at home, she seems incapable of sitting down without pulling her knees up to her chest…except at the dinner table, which might only be because the table impedes her progress.

5 – She is beautiful.  Tall and strong and always tanned, with dimpled cheeks and big brown eyes (on the outside).  Quick to laugh, quick to forgive, cheerful and optimistic (on the inside).

6 – She loves Jesus.  Simply and completely and without reservation.

7 – She can put both feet behind her head at the same time…a feat I’ve never been able to accomplish (lame pun intended).

8 – She is still, and possibly forever, a fan of anything sparkly or shiny or fluffy.

9 – She is most easily offended in life by her 9 year old brother.  Always.

10 – She is, literally, the exact picture of a small child chasing a butterfly.  Chores and schoolwork and attentiveness, in general, often succumb to her as yet uncontrolled ability to be distracted.

11 – She is a gifted artist.  It just makes sense to her, I guess.  I enjoy so much seeing any new drawing or painting or clay sculpture she creates.

12 – She can now, after many years of diligent practice…drumroll, please…walk in a straight line.

13 – She is indescribably precious to, and immeasurably loved by us.

We are so excited to walk alongside and celebrate with Bethany today.  She is a one-of-a-kind treasure.

Caedmon is 15.  Despite my deep desire for time to stop for just a little while, it marches on, still.  In the past 6 months, Caedmon has outgrown 2 pants sizes and his voice is now more man than boy.  My guess is that the next six months will find us packing away a few more sizes of pants…but I really don’t want to get ahead of myself in all of this.  Instead, I will take this moment to reflect on who Caedmon is right now, in these fleeting days.

On one hand, Caedmon is the same Caedmon as always – diligent, particular, hard-working, relishing any chance for “play”.  He excels in all of his schoolwork, to the point where I have to re-learn (and re-learn, and re-learn again, sometimes) the math concepts he’s working on…and often he “gets” them much more quickly than I do.  He still spends most of his free time building with legos, though he will occasionally forego that in favor of a game of Castle Risk, or to watch a favorite movie.  His saxophone playing continues to improve by leaps and bounds, and he regularly sits down at the piano to try to hammer out a new song.  At the end of this past summer, after earning money by restoring and painting some of our windows, he set out to build himself a rowboat.  He found plans online and has planned, purchased, measured, cut, glued, and epoxy-ed his way most of the way through this project, with plans to be finished by the time fishing weather rolls around.  As always, he has big ideas AND the determination to see them accomplished.  He is steady and dependable and hopeful and principled.

But, there have been some subtle changes, too.  I think he is more sure of himself…less concerned about trying to fit anyone else’s mold.  He is more grounded, recognizing more readily the difference between a pie-in-the-sky notion, and something that is a real possibility.  He’s giving more thought to his future (though not obsessively so, by any means), and he has a better idea of what interests him and what doesn’t.  In short, I guess, he’s growing up…which, in some ways, makes me more distraught than I could possibly ever explain, but which is also a relief.  A relief knowing that, when the time comes for him to be on his own, he has a good head on his shoulders and a firm foundation under his feet.

But, I won’t be rushing things.  And as always, I am so happy to have this day to pause much of life just to celebrate my firstborn son.  He is a treasure and joy and I will relish every year that I have the responsibility and the privilege to make his birthday a big deal.  I love him more than words.

Yesterday, Elijah turned 9.  My boy who still gives me hugs when he first sees me in the morning, and kisses on cheeks, chin and forehead every night, is getting older.

He is one-of-a-kind.  Our lefty, who plays harmonica and trombone, whose favorite color is black, who asked for a unicycle and stilts for Christmas/birthday presents, who will (sometimes) go out of his way to choose the out-of-the-ordinary, just because.  He stands out in our family with his quick wit, quick feet, quirky drawings, and unique sense of style.

He struggles with maintaining a good work ethic, but what he learns, he learns well, and what he does, he does well.  I see some of myself in him in this, though I haven’t really figured out how to help him overcome the propensity to leave work undone.  So we just plug away at it, reminding, correcting, praising a job well-done, re-doing half-baked assignments…and he’s making progress, slowly but surely.

On the flip side of things, he is incredibly persistent when he wants to learn something, and rather than trying something for a short while, then giving up, he works diligently until he has figured it out.

He has a lot of wonderful traits, and more that still need to be refined and reined in.  He has his own special way of making me feel loved and valued as a mom, which is so precious to me.  I am beyond thankful for these nine years of his life and I treasure every day with my Buddy.

Our sweet Ava Grace is 6 today.

She is petite, and princess-y, and putzy.

She is soft-spoken, with occasional moments of being extremely loud and boisterous.

She is more than happy to let others serve her, but also volunteers to vacuum and wash windows and peel garlic.

She has become an excellent reader, and is great at math, but struggles to remember things like months of the year, or names, or anything that requires simple memorization with no context to give meaning.

Ava loves dancing, and bike-riding (though still with training wheels, which is mostly the result of parental oversight, rather than anything else), and running, and picking flowers, and blowing bubbles, and building with blocks, and drawing, and painting.

She excitedly does anything her older siblings do, but is also starting to have her own opinionated, and often resolute, voice.  Yet despite her clear preferences, she will often defer to others in order to keep peace.  She loves her little brother and willingly, joyfully plays with him for long stretches of time.

Ava still curls up in a ball and tucks herself in right next to me (or anyone else available for snuggling).  She is moved deeply by affirming words and encouragement, and hugs are still how she receives the most meaningful comfort, consolation, and affection.

She’s moving so slowly into the realm of “girl” without the “little” in front of it that I don’t always notice, but the changes are there. Still adorable, but growing more beautiful now, too.  I love to see her personality emerge in new ways, and I love to see the characteristics she’s always had take on new maturity and strength.  She is simply precious and wonderful.  These six years, she has brought joy and blessing and sweetness to every day.  I love her so very much.

Today, Nathanael turns eleven.  He’s been looking forward to this birthday, in particular, because for some arbitrary reason, this is the age we decided to let our kids start having [decaffeinated] coffee.  He has been a lover of anything coffee-flavored for a while, so the countdown to eleven started well before his tenth birthday.

In addition to coffee, Nathanael is also our white chocolate fiend, and our bright-color admirer, and our child who often prefers “fresh” foods – crisp fruits and vegetables, citrus-y desserts.  He is in a neck-and-neck race with Bethany for the title of resident bookworm.  He is our go-to baby whisperer. He happily helps with any house project.  Nathanael is the kid who will slow down to walk with the person lagging behind, who will still volunteer for the task nobody else wants to do, who will – of his own volition – lay hands on and pray for family members who are sick.

Our Bug has a heart of gold.  He is insightful and funny and a little bit smart-aleck-y…maybe sometimes when he should be serious, but he’s learning.  I love celebrating his birthday, his part of our family that is unique and wonderful that we wouldn’t be complete without.  I’m so thankful for the gift we have in him.  He is absolutely on of the very best gifts I’ve ever received.

Isabelle is four today.

She is full of exuberance and tenacity and heart.

She hugs with abandon (and often gets a running start).  If I ever ask “can someone please [fill in the blank]?”, she dashes off to be the first one to do whatever was asked.  She’ll grab five books when told to get one for reading.  When she’s excited, she literally bounces her way through life; when she’s distraught, her big eyes and quivering lips are about the saddest thing you’ll ever see.

She is stubborn (to a fault sometimes).  She loves fiercely, but is wounded easily.  She is quick-witted and insightful.  She loves pretend play and dressing up, and Fancy Nancy books are her favorite.  She is so many things rough-and-tumble, but she has the girliest giggle and she loves dancing and always asks if she looks beautiful [of course, Sweetpea, you’re ALWAYS beautiful].  She has more personality than she knows what to do with sometimes…eye rolls, hands on hips, wild arm gestures, furrowed eyebrows and more (all at once), and it can be hard to not laugh at all her spunk.

But, oh, I love this little girl with all my heart!  She is a treasure and a joy and such a big part of all that is good in my days.  I’m so glad to celebrate four years with her today.

And now, Lucas is one.  How did that happen?  I remember the day of his birth like it was yesterday, and yet, I know a lot of life and growing has happened in the 12 months since.  The first five or so months were more of a challenge than usual, with Lucas spitting up dozens of times a day…which, I know is a relatively small problem in the overall scheme of things, but which becomes tedious and time consuming and nerve-wracking in day-to-day life.  He never had problems growing or being super-energetic, though, so we just waited for the hopeful day when the spitting-up would stop.  And it did – almost overnight – and it seemed like my brain took it as a sign that his infancy was over.  It’s funny, the things we find that we miss sometimes, and as crazy as it sounds, I admit that I did cry more than once at the realization that I no longer had to change shirts three times a day, or carry a couple dozen burp cloths with me wherever I went.

Then, almost as soon as the spitting-up ended, he was crawling, then at nine months, walking, now running and reaching and going everywhere and getting into everything that he possibly can.

He has been teething persistently since about three months, but his teeth were frustratingly slow to come in, with the first not making an appearance until 10 months, the next three following within a week.  Whether because of the spitting-up, or the lack of teeth, or something else entirely, it took a long time for him to develop an interest in any kind of food.  It was also around ten months that he would finally eat more than two or three bites of anything.  But his tastes were quick to change, and now he’ll eat just about anything we give him.  His favorites are rice, fruits (especially banana), mac and cheese, potatoes and carrots…nothing too unusual, but exciting for me in its normalcy.

From the start, Lucas has been full of energy.  He can’t even nurse without kicking a leg, or swatting an arm.  He is strong – almost freakishly sometimes – and so persistent I struggle to keep up at times.  His favorite song is Come Thou Fount, and has been from his very first days.  When I sing to him, he will “sing” along, which at this point amounts to some cross between humming and singing gibberish.

He has two fingers that are constantly in his mouth, a habit that unfortunately had more of a chance to take hold since his teeth were so long in coming in.

He loves his siblings, and they love him.  I honestly think he might have a bit of a superiority complex because of it, though.  When he enters a room, he looks around at everyone, fully expecting a round of big smiles and exuberant greetings every time…because that’s what he got for the first many months of his life.  It has waned somewhat now, though his siblings will still clamor to hold him, or feed him, and Nathanael has become the go-to person for walking him around when he’s tired, almost always resulting in Lucas nodding off.

He’s definitely a mama’s boy, though, and I am kind of glad he is.  Sometimes I complain about his occasional insistence on only sleeping if being held in the middle of the night, but I truly do love having him snuggled up against me while he sleeps, and am not in so much of a hurry for him to move on from wanting me close.  I love this boy so very much.  I’m thankful beyond words for the gift he is to our family.  I’m thrilled to celebrate his first year of life today.  Happy 1st Birthday, Lucas William!

Bethany is 12 today.  She has turned a corner, I think, this past year.  There are many of the old struggles still – with work ethic, and attentiveness, and day-dreaminess – but her attitude has come so far.  Most days, she is sweet and encouraging and kind.  Her hard-headedness has made way for a more teachable spirit, a greater humility, a new willingness to ask questions and admit when she doesn’t know it all.

A recent event really encapsulated a lot of the character traits I see in Bethany.  It was during a belt test for Tae Kwon Do.  All of the students were to demonstrate a set of moves at the same time, but not necessarily in sync with each other.  Bethany got flustered – distracted by the others around her who were all at slightly different spots in their demonstrations – and she flailed, never fully recovering.

The sensei then singled her out to go through the whole routine again, on her own, in front of everyone else.  I could tell from her face that she was fighting back tears, and I felt scared for her…knowing how difficult I would have found the situation.  But she didn’t falter.  She demonstrated the moves flawlessly – like, better than I’ve ever seen her do anything else in Tae Kwon Do.  See, for as flighty, and easily distracted, and, sometimes, not-so-serious as Bethany can be, she also has an incredible memory, a not-easily-shaken confidence, and a fierce determination that allows her to rise to the challenges of life, rather than be ruined by them.

I was so proud of her.  I am so proud of her.  And I am so thankful that God is working good things in her – even despite what I am often sure is utter failure on my part.  Bethany is a joy and a treasure, beautiful inside and out.  I’m so happy she’s mine.