I started the day today with a bad attitude.  Maybe it had something to do with the heat that makes me nauseous when I attempt to do anything.  Maybe it was because of thoughts I seem incapable of taking captive, or restless sleep, or a messy house, or any of the other frustrations of life that I regularly cite as I plead with God for help…or, perhaps more honestly stated, as I accuse God of not being my ever-present help.  Whatever the reason, though, I was not pleasant…and that’s putting it kindly.

By the time I got around to taking a shower, I really just wanted to hide from life.  So, as I let the cold water (because the thought of taking a hot shower today was pretty much unbearable) drown out the noise of the day, I just cried, and asked God to help me see something other than the ugliness and imperfections of life…and of me.

I would like to say that, in an instant, my perspective changed.  But, really, God has almost never worked that way in me.  I stayed in the shower for as long as I could possibly manage (ie – until children became unruly to the point of needing oversight).  My bad attitude didn’t dissipate into thin air.  But, there were subtle changes…a moment of seeing good in a child in spite of failings, a remembering to hold my tongue rather than letting a harsh word slip out, a willingness to at least try to accomplish something instead of writing off the day.  Mostly, though, there’s just been more of a peace about this day.

It’s not the “answer” I would most prefer…no great revelation or heart-breaking conviction or overwhelming sense of God’s presence…but something much more like a “still, small voice” that I could easily overlook.  I don’t entirely understand why God chose to respond the way He did.  But His response was enough for me for today.  And I am thankful for that.