Sometimes, I feel hopeless.  I question God, and I doubt His Word, and I don’t trust that He will take care of me.  I conclude that my faith is just really, really small – that I don’t truly know Him at all.  For as much as I think I try to seek Him, it seems I keep coming away with a lot of false perceptions.

But, I am realizing that even in my perceptions of how I perceive things I end up giving the enemy a foothold, if I’m not careful.  It’s easy for me to confuse my feelings with my beliefs, and it can be hard to tell the difference sometimes…so I often think that my faith is faltering because I feel abandoned, or I feel doubtful, or I feel any number of other things that would indicate lack of belief.

The truth, though?  When I am faced with the choice of acting on my feelings or acting on what God says is true, my feelings don’t often rule the day.  While I have a definite weakness for saying what I’m feeling and thinking, rather than confessing the truth of the Word (and I recognize my need to fix this), when I have to really put stock in one or the other, I choose God.  Often I worry that I’m wrong, or that I won’t be able to stick with a decision for faith for any length of time, or that God will fail me, but underlying it all is an unwavering conviction that God is all that He says He is, that He does somehow really love me, and that my life is secure in His hands.

But even if I don’t forget that when I am forced into a decision, I do forget it too often in daily life…and it steals away the peace and joy I should have from what my heart knows is true.  And that needs to change.