Today…well, really, I think for months…God has been telling me I need to believe Him.  The two passages I read this morning (Romans 4 and James 2) both referenced Genesis 15:6

And [Abraham] believed in the Lord, and He accounted it to him for righteousness.

As is the case with most truth that God tries to get me to see, it’s not a new idea.  In fact, I probably would have glossed over it if it hadn’t shown up twice.  Even then, I didn’t really want to think about it.  I didn’t want to think it could be relevant to my life at this moment.  See, I have been prone to arguing with God lately about this topic.  I have staunchly – stubbornly – been refusing to accept that I need to believe that what God says is true when I can’t see it.  I’ve been asking to see Him.  Desperately.  Persistently.  In frustration and confusion I have wondered why.  I didn’t like the answer that kept coming:

Believe when you can’t see.

So, I’ve been ignoring and arguing.  I was all set to do the same this morning and wanted to somehow think God had already been showing up in Abraham’s situation, but I sort of accidentally paid attention the circumstances of Abraham’s believing.  God made a promise of an heir when, by all accounts, Sarah was well past her child-bearing years.  God had had years to provide a son – to have proven himself faithful – and He hadn’t.  But still, Abraham believed Him when He promised what not only seemed impossible because of the current situation, but which contradicted a lifetime of experience that said it couldn’t happen.  He believed when he couldn’t see.

It’s easy to think I know best.  It’s easy to question God’s timing, and how He chooses to be faithful to His Word.  It’s hard to not see.  It’s hard to wait, especially in a desert.  It’s hard (for me anyway) to call something true and right and God-glorifying that, in the moment, is only pain and struggle.

I rely too much on sight, on logic, on what I feel.  But if God is who He claims to be, then He is in no way constrained by circumstances, reason, or emotion.  They are constructs of His limitless being and He can’t, in any way, be limited by them.

I want to trust that.  I want to believe when I can’t see.  I’m not sure how to get there, though.