Time is a funny thing.  Sometimes, twenty years ago seems more like last year; other times, it feels like it was a lifetime ago.  All the time, though, I am indescribably grateful for the man who has been by my side for these twenty years.

It’s probably cliché to say so, but in many ways we are not the same guy and girl who walked down the aisle on that rainy Saturday, the day before graduating from college.  Growing up does that to people.  Life does that to people.  I mean, how is anyone to know how they would handle full-time jobs, endless bills, babies, sleepless nights, house projects, and so many obstacles and heartaches…much less how someone else will handle them?  And all of those things shape the person we are over the course of time.  But the person Tim is today is someone I am even more thankful for, more proud of, more in love with than I was on the day I married him.

I couldn’t have known, then, the extent to which Tim would go to provide for our family.  I couldn’t have known the depths of forgiveness he would show me, time and time again.  I couldn’t have known the scope of his intelligence, his capability, his ingenuity.  I couldn’t have known how he would be able to make me feel beautiful when nine months pregnant, or with stretch marks etched permanently into my abdomen, or with shoulders slouched with weariness, or eyes red and puffy from crying.  I couldn’t have know how unrelentingly he would put me first and lay his life down for me, in more ways than I would have thought possible.

There have been hard moments, hard seasons even.  For all of the things I love about Tim, there are still a few things that I just take because they’re part of the package…though at least some of them are more problems with me than with him.  So, I yell sometimes, and I criticize sometimes, and am generally unloving sometimes.  Sometimes, he tries to adjust and address whatever I’ve said.  Sometimes, he defends himself.  Sometimes, he walks away.  But he never yells at me in anger (occasionally, frustration, but there is a difference).  He never criticizes me.  He has never been unloving (occasionally, inconsiderate, but again – there’s a difference).  He is more patient than I deserve.  He is more gracious than I deserve.  He loves me more and better than I deserve.

I could write more about the amazing father he is…not just in his actions toward our children, but in his heart for them.  I could write about his integrity in his work, and his respect and humility shown toward his coworkers and bosses.  I could write about his unwavering principles and his willingness to stand up for right, even when it’s obvious that right won’t win the day.  I could write about the incredible strength he showed in the face of his incredible grief at the loss of his mom.

And there’s so much more, but I won’t focus on those things simply because today I am celebrating God’s wonderful gift of Tim to me.  I am taking time to treasure the very personal, unique ways that God has blessed me, and taught me, and loved me through Tim.  I don’t have words for how very thankful I am, or for how in awe I continue to be at God’s provision for my life in giving me Tim as my husband…at how He knew what I would need before I had any idea, at how He knew who Tim would be to me before Tim could even have known.  I married my best friend, but he has become so much more than that.  So, to say that these twenty years have been wonderful seems incomplete and insufficient.  They have been life changing, and I wouldn’t have wanted them any other way.