When I hear or read about the “best” ways to train, discipline, and teach my children, I usually end up feeling like I have gone horribly wrong somewhere.  After all, these ideas that get talked about really sound good – great, even.  They are full of compassion and grace, consistency and gospel.  Love is communicated even while discipline is carried out.  And honestly, the way I raise my kids looks nothing like this.

I have wrestled with God over this, and it’s not simply an issue of my lack of discipline in the matter (which, I admit, is a problem).  The problem I face is that even when I want and try to address problematic behaviors the “right” way, it feels completely wrong to me.  For one thing, I am not an effusive person…and I somehow feel like my kids will sense insincerity if I follow some scripted program for dealing with their sin.  For another thing, I myself don’t respond favorably to anything I perceive to be sugar-coated…I tend to actually prefer a blunt, perhaps more harsh, explanation…otherwise I feel like I’m being patronized.

I also have a very different perception of how God deals with me than how these ideas suggest we deal with our kids.  That’s not to say that He doesn’t deal that way with some, nor is it to say that my perception of how He deals with me is any less loving and gracious…it’s just different.  So, maybe, I can deal differently with my kids than someone else deals with theirs, and it can be okay.  Maybe the Bible doesn’t outline specifics, because methods aren’t hard-and-fast.  Maybe my heart for the Lord and my heart for my children matter more than my techniques.  So, maybe I should just focus on doing better at those things I know for sure are failings on my part, and not worry about the rest.  I’m sure, even in this – even through me, that God can work