I was throwing up yesterday.  Part of it was because I had a massive headache caused by clogged sinuses.  Most of it was because I am almost 10 weeks pregnant with our newest little one.  Yesterday was the first time this pregnancy I failed to keep food down…otherwise my stomach has only caused me problems in the morning when my stomach is still empty.  Not terribly pleasant, but better than usual, as far as pregnancies go for me.  Still, there is exhaustion, and weight gain (8 pounds so far…ugh), and “pregnancy brain”…which takes effect earlier with each pregnancy.

Life is forced to a snail’s pace around here…well, for me at least.  Schoolwork for the kids is pretty bare-bones, dinners are only firmly decided in the hour or so before meal-time…much too often, not what was in my meal plan…, housework has been almost entirely out of my hands, and I find that reclining on the couch for long periods of time is just not as appealing as it once seemed.

I would be lying if I said this is the part of pregnancy that I miss once the baby is here.  The truth is, this is the part of pregnancy that I most easily forget, and it’s probably best that way.  It’s not just hard on me, but on everyone.  My kids find themselves with less routine, but a lot more random tasks assigned them, and my husband takes over everything else…he puts aside projects and “down-time” to wash dishes and fold laundry and get me food and go shopping.

“Productivity” isn’t a word that describes our life these days…but, with an obvious exception.  The tiny little life that is being knit together inside me.  It’s easy to get to the end of the day and feel unaccomplished, overwhelmed, unsure if all those things being set aside will eventually get done.  But, really, the point of it all is so much more than worth it.  The unseen miracle being fashioned and formed in the womb may take some effort and energy, sometimes inadvertently attributed to a lesser purpose (ie, satisfying a craving for a cheeseburger), but to know that the “reward” for these sacrifices is a life – that knowledge give perspective, and humbles, and astounds me.

Because, really, I don’t have the first clue how to create life, but yet, there is life being created in me.  A precious, perfect life…dependent on me, but held by the hands of his or her Creator.  There’s no project or pursuit that can compare with that.