There is a common perception among Christians lately that the way to connect with someone else is to only talk about that person.  So, maybe I am an anomaly.  But, I don’t feel connected to someone when they ask me questions.  I feel awkward and uncomfortable and not at all like I am connecting with a person.

I appreciate the thought that goes into it, and I can understand why the other person would walk away feeling like they connected.  After all, they learned something about me (maybe).  They might actually feel like they know me a little bit better.  But I, on the other hand, learned nothing about them.  Instead, I walk away feeling like the other person isn’t comfortable sharing anything about themselves with me.  I feel distant and like I have just been the recipient of some well-intentioned, yet obligatory, exercise in “caring”.

And I know, how I feel shouldn’t matter in my interactions, but I tend to think that it is a fair assumption that I am not the only person in all of humanity that feels this way.  So, maybe, there are people who aren’t being reached through this method.  Maybe there are others like me who find connection in seeing that someone is willing to share more of themselves than just a minute or two of time.  Maybe demonstrating love to someone isn’t based on a formula, but on a heart that actually loves the person, and seeks, in each circumstance, to figure out what will make that person feel loved.

I won’t pretend to be great at this.  I know I’m not…I have a lot of fear at the thought of showing love to people.  But I also know I would rather have one conversation with someone who actually wants to be talking to me, than innumerable conversations with people asking me questions because they think that is how everyone forms connections.