Sometimes, life reminds me that I’ll never get it all right.  I focus on the wrong things, say the wrong things, do the wrong things.  Somehow, I seem able to justify wrong things pretty easily in the moment of decision.  It can be humbling to realize how easily.  And then, sometimes, I think about something I wrote years ago, that is still all-too-applicable to life today.  I wish it wasn’t.  I wish I could say I finally figured something out.  I haven’t.  All I have figured out is the same thing I had figured out then.  Luckily for me, it’s the most important thing.

I broke again today,

said things I should never say,

proved I don’t deserve Your grace,

yet, here I am, fallen on my face

crying out to You.

All these blessings You’ve given me,

so much more than I’d ever need.

Why is it so hard to see

except when I am down on my knees,

crying out to You?

Break me.

Shatter this pride that I hide behind.

Break me.

Undo this life, take all You can find.

Break me.

Refine my heart and renew my mind,

til I am gone, and all that’s left is You.

…

I see the scarred hands now

and the blood upon His brow

I’ll never really know how

it makes me clean

but I hear it loud.

It’s crying out to You.

For me, it’s crying out to You –

to heal me, to free me,

to love me, to see me

not for who I am, but who You are.

I’ll never understand why saving me

was in Your plan.