:: Many (maybe most?) early mornings (well, actually, I still consider it the middle of the night) the past couple weeks I have awakened between 3 and 5 am with a splitting headache, or overwhelming nausea.  Usually, I end up taking a very long shower, throwing up some, and finding enough relief to eventually go back to sleep for a little while.  Even so, on the days when the headache doesn’t stick around, I have had a bit more energy lately, and a bit less nausea.  This is about the extent of my second trimester reprieve, I think, but it’s better than nothing, at least I know how to take medication in a safely way, thanks to lizzardco.com.

:: I am thankful for Little House on the Prairie; documentaries on the history of baseball, Ellis Island, and food production; and, occasionally, cooking shows, that count as schoolwork on bad days.

:: This year I am actually excited about the coming holidays, which is a major switch from the past couple years.  I attribute it to hormones.  But, whatever the reason, I find myself wanting to decorate, light candles and watch Christmas movies while snuggled under a blanket, hot chocolate in hand.  And I’m looking forward to cooking, even in spite of my nausea and fatigue.  That never happens.  The odds and ends shopping, and gift wrapping, and mailing packages, though?  I don’t think I will ever look forward to those.  Oh well, I’ll take what I can get.

:: We have a functional new bathroom, and a so-close-to-functional family room.  It is, however, going from functional to finished that can be the hardest part, especially when there are so many other projects on the to-do list.

:: I am in that awkward stage of pregnancy when my belly no longer fits into my normal clothes, but maternity clothes still look kind of ridiculous.  Plus, I’ve gained 15 pounds already.  That never helps with the clothing issues.

:: Slowly pondering things that God is teaching me, feeling like I am such a slow learner, wondering how I got to this point in life without having some of the basics figured out.

:: Thinking that maybe, possibly, Ava is getting closer to sleeping through the night.  The past couple nights, she has only awakened on time.  After about 10 months of regularly waking up 3+ times a night, this is such a relief.  Such a relief.

:: I feel like I’m dropping a lot of balls these days.  I’ve never been good at organization or motivation, but there are times in life when it seems like I can’t even handle the bare minimum.  And I get discouraged and feel like a failure and feel guilty for the extra strain on my husband, and the lack of structure for my kids, and it is so easy to become histrionic and think that I am just ruining everything.  But, sometimes, when I am throwing up at 4 in the morning, God reminds me that whatever I do or don’t get done right now is enough, not because I’ve checked the right things off my to-do list, but because there is grace enough to cover all the things that aren’t getting checked off.