Another year has flown by. Caedmon is in full figuring-out-life mode. He’s taking classes part-time, working part-time and trying to make decisions about what he actually wants to do with life.
We saw a sign in a store a while back that said something along the lines of “I’m an adult, but not, like, a REAL adult” and we both laughed because that is how things seem for him right now. He’s wanting freedom and independence and space, but he’s also still borrowing our car and getting his laundry done for him. He’s handling so many things on his own, though. Saving money for college (he has enough for a car, just hasn’t found one yet). Figuring out classes. Working one job consistently, but also managing to fit in another one, as opportunity permits, that is giving him valuable experience.
And, to be honest, we’ve had some rough moments. I’m learning how to let go, and he’s learning (I hope) that becoming an adult is a balancing act of responsibilities and relationships and learning how to choose self-sacrifice at times when it would be easier to choose self-service. He pushes back more on some things, but he also listens and adjusts, which makes me so proud of who he is.
His interests have stayed much the same even as he has made his way into the world of adulting. He loves music, he loves LEGO, he’s a big movie fan (particularly Marvel). He likes anything rustic, cozy or Christmas. He chases Lucas around, makes “teenage boy” jokes with Elijah, and talks about ideas with Nathanael. He patiently listens while his younger sisters talk his ear off about things that, in general, couldn’t matter less to him. He talks to Tim and me about life, and problem solving, and politics.
In truth, I miss the joyful, hopeful kid Caedmon was ten years ago. In some ways, life has been really hard, and hasn’t left him without scars, which makes me want to yell at God about how unfair He can be sometimes. But, instead, I talk to Caedmon about where our hope is found, and how to cling to Christ when we face loss or disappointment. And I remind him that what we gain in eternity far outweighs any joy or sorrow we could experience now. These lessons that I am still learning at 43 years old, he’s learning at nineteen, and it makes me hopeful for his relationship with the Lord to be that much richer and deeper and stronger because of it.
It seems that life gets more complicated with age, even for my kiddos. But I am so thankful that I get to now walk side-by-side with Caedmon has he navigates his way through. These nineteen years have been a blessing beyond words I can only hope for many, many more.