Isabelle turns eight today.  She is exuberant and determined and encouraging and persistent.

She loves all things “girly”…dresses and jewelry and pretty shoes and sparkly, frilly hair things.

If she could, I think she might live in the kitchen.  With constant questions, she has figured out how to do many things cooking-wise, and is always very interested in sampling anything and everything that is being made.  Almost humorously, she has a strong dislike for anything spicy…but will still always insist that she might suddenly like spice if it is in something someone else is eating, or something she sees in use in the kitchen.

This is Isabelle’s first year playing softball, and though there’s a learning curve, along with bugs and heat and dirt, she has a smile on her face just about every moment of it.  She loves being around people, especially other girls her age, and is so excited for this opportunity.

Isabelle remains our most enthusiastic “helper” at home, too.  She is very particular about the help she gives, though, hence the qualifier.  Whenever “someone”, in general, is asked to do something, she is always the first volunteer.  Likewise, whenever anyone is doing something which Isabelle deems might need help (whether it actually does or not), she is quick to ask what she can do.  When something is specifically asked of her, though, she is often less enamored with the task…which, I admit, befuddles me sometimes, but we address any attitudes when they arise, and encourage her to not let them impede her love for helping others.

Isabelle has been learning, bit by bit, the recorder, the harmonica, the guitar, and the piano.  While my tendency would be to limit it to one, or maybe two, instruments, she is prone to being easily bored by just one, and I figured at this point, it’s just better to encourage her interest in music, rather than care too much about progress.  But she IS making progress and is always thrilled to share that progress with anyone who will listen.

Academically, Isabelle excels in math, but does well in most areas.  Her listening comprehension, which has been a struggle in the past, is improving, and for an eight year old, she is a great self-starter and takes ownership of the work she has to do.  As with most areas of life, she always wants to share what she’s learning with anyone who will listen, so many members of our family get daily updates on her daily math lessons, the new interesting science facts that she has learned, and the entire, detailed plot line of whatever book she is reading.

She is growing fast, but is still my little girl in so many ways.  Isabelle always wants to sit next to me or Tim.  Every morning, she greets us with an enormous smile, and big, almost-tackling, hugs.  I sometimes have to remind myself to not let these days slip by unnoticed, but when I take the time, I truly cherish Isabelle’s smiles and giggles, her empathetic heart, her unrestrained interest in anything I’m doing, her questions, her excitement, and her generally optimistic attitude about each new day.  She is beautiful and thoughtful and capable and creative and fun-loving and kind.  I love my Sweetpea more than words can say, and I’m forever grateful for her birthday each year when we get to take a day to celebrate her.

Twenty-two years of marriage.  This year, my married life officially became longer than my pre-marriage life.  It’s funny, though, how in those first twenty-one years I thought I had so much figured out, and it feels like each one of these past twenty-two years have made me realize more how much I don’t have figured out.

Every year brings new challenges, and this past year was no different.  Tim has spent much of it not feeling well, and though (thankfully) no major health issues have been discovered and he is mostly recovered (no thanks to any of the myriad doctors he saw, though), the stress of many long months of symptoms, of appointments, of tests, of lots of expenses that insurance doesn’t cover, of so much left undone, of the unknown and of constant anxiety have been taxing.

I learned that some of my perceptions of Tim might have been slightly erroneous…like how I thought he always just ignored pain and illness and fatigue, when most of the time he really just always felt good (a completely foreign concept to me).  I also learned that what I thought was maybe me just being a good, godly wife in the past, was more likely just me having life really easy.  I was confronted with just how much I depend on Tim, and how grumpy I can be when he doesn’t meet my “expectations”.  Beyond that, there have been so many tense discussions…which crossed the line into arguments way too often…about how to approach things, what advice to follow, when to keep trying to find answers and when to accept that an answer might never be found.

In all honesty, we still struggle to find a compromise with some of these things, but, arguments aside, I do believe it is a struggle worth having.  It’s part of the way we balance each other out.  Tim’s nature is to be relentless, to magnify a problem so that he can fix it, to never stop until he has answers.  There are many areas where this is admirable, but sometimes he “misses the trees for the leaves”, his big picture gets compromised and he needs a perspective adjustment.  Less because of any wisdom or great communication skills on my part, and probably more because of exhaustion and bluntness, I have offered that different perspective. It isn’t always the better one, but it reminds him of priorities and sometimes (I think) helps him see beyond his own needs.  On the flip side, I have needed more lessons on how to extend grace, how to not expect perfect thoughts or behaviors from Tim (even knowing full well that nobody is perfect, I still have a hard time when I see imperfection in him), and how to see circumstances from someone else’s perspective.

I’ve thought a fair amount about how we will look back on these days…hopefully reflecting on God’s faithfulness, on lessons learned, with compassionate, gracious hearts.  But it has also made me thankful for an attitude toward marriage that is rooted in commitment, where figuring out a way through hard times is the only option.  How much more difficult and complicated does a situation become when a person, in addition to whatever problem they’re facing, starts questioning whether that problem crosses the line of “too much” for a marriage?  How many solvable problems just never get solved because two people were never really committed to working things out to begin with?

And I’m reminded of God’s commitment to us when we walk with Him.  In spite of our endless flaws, He faithfully works on us.  When we fall, He is always there to help us back up and to forgive us and mend our broken places.  Even though He is never the flawed, imperfect one, still God never ceases to be the most gracious, the most patient, the most persistent in this best-of-all-relationships we get to have with Him through Christ.  Seeing my own limits in these virtues, and seeing how continually I test these virtues in my husband makes me all the more thankful for Tim, yes, but infinitely more so for my Savior.

Not that lessons about God’s character are the only way I am blessed by marriage.  These lessons are possible in large part because of all the good I know Tim brings to my life…both when I am overwhelmed by it, and when I realize, to my chagrin, that I have been taking it for granted.  My love and gratitude for him grows in depth and complexity with each passing year, and I am so thankful for these twenty-two years, and hope for many, many more.

My baby is five.  He seems to think he’s on the verge of adulthood, though.  Lucas tends to believe that there is nothing his older siblings can do that he can’t do.  He vacuums and mops, he fixes broken door handles and tapes up ripped book spines (all of his own volition).  He is pretty close to holding his own in races, and can still quite effectively tackle anyone. He has fairly successfully learned to play games not really meant for four year-olds (right now monopoly and chess are two of his favorites) so that he can interact with his older siblings (major kudos to the big brothers and sisters who have been so patient with his learning curve).  His analytical abilities astound me sometimes (like being able to figure out how to fix the broken door handle), and his comprehension of ideas that he’s presented with in books and movies is beyond his five years.

Lucas’s love for anything fast has remained constant.  When he was just a couple years old, it was cars, then the Flash, now Sonic.  He races around on his bicycle, and more than once has snuck out to the car or the tractor to “practice” being behind the wheel.

After mostly turning his nose up at the thought of being read to for the first four years of his life, Lucas has finally started to enjoy it, and will happily bring me a stack of books and snuggle up next to me.  He seems to have a particular fondness for books he finds funny, and I love getting to see and hear him laugh at his favorite parts.

Compassion, and emotions in general, run deep in this kid.  He is very aware if someone around him is sick or hurting.  He feels offenses very deeply, and takes notice of the moods of the people around him.  Big smiles and big hugs get even bigger smiles and bigger hugs from him in return.  He struggles to understand why he can’t always get his way, and in general puts more stock in how he feels about something than he really should.  We’re working on finding the balance in keeping him soft-hearted, but rational, too.

In truth, Lucas pushes so many more limits than I could have imagined possible.  But I was noting to Tim just the other day about how, more and more, those pushed limits have been manifesting instead as his self-motivation for accomplishing something, and his ability to identify what needs doing and figuring out how to get it done.  As so often happens, the areas where refining is necessary are also the areas where we see vast potential, and it makes me excited to see how God will shape him and use him in years to come.

I am so thankful for Lucas and blessed by the joy and exuberance he adds to each and every day.  What a wonderful gift these five years with him have been.